
Last night as I crawled into bed, I was acutely aware of the 60,000 people who were stuck on the freeway, frothing at the mouth to get to the Woodburn Outlet Malls. Traffic was backed up for miles in hopes of each person getting the deal of the day. It would be 3 a.m. before many would even get out of their cars and find a place to park! If that isn’t enough to inspire you to save fifty bucks on a pair of Nikes, how about the family that has been camping at Best Buy for over a week, to insure their place to save a few hundred bucks on a big screen TV. I figured out the math on how much it must have cost him in food and loss wages, and he could have bought one at full retail in each room of his house for about the same amount of money!
Over 139 Million Americans ventured out in the dark night for the big deal to kick off the official Christmas buying season, where we will eventually spend $439 Billion in the next thirty days, the size of the Gross National Product of many nations. The average American will go in debt over $739.00 just to insure the each loved one receives that special gift for the holiday.
Please understand, I am a real softy for the Christmas season. I truly enjoy buying that special gift for each person that has a place in my heart. But do you think we just might have be missing the reason for the season just a little bit? Does Santa and His Sleigh really need to take such a predominate role, or should we be looking for ways to really bring back the true meaning of the season.
Here is a humorous study that was done, that will help all you faithful Santa-ites adjust your priotities a little. PLEASE don’t let the little kids read this as I don’t want to ruin their belief in the big bellied, jolly ol’ fellow:
Engineers Take the Fun out of Christmas
There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the population in reference bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household; that comes to 108 million homes, presuming there is at least one good child in each. Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth. This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get onto the next house. Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the ! purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about .78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks. This means Santa’s sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second—3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour.
The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized LEGO set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself.

On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that the “flying” reindeer can pull 10 times the normal amount, the job can’t be done by eight or even nine of them-Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch). A mass of nearly 600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance-this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth’s atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4/26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip. Not that it matters, however, since Santa as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 miles per second, in .001 seconds, would be subjected to acceleration forces of 17,000g’s. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim considering all the high calorie snacks he must have consumed over the years) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo.
Therefore, if Santa did exist, He’s dead now.
Ho, Ho Ho, Have a Merry Christmas! AND Don’t forget about the real reason for the season. Jesus came for you and me as the ultimate gift from a God who loves us!