Marc Estes

Most of us avoid conflict at all costs. First of all, it is no fun. Secondly, our natural tendency is to avoid confrontation. However, avoiding conflict will not solve the issue at hand, but will only multiply it.  The reality is, sooner or later, you will have to face the situation, and facing it early on in it’s conception will greatly reduce the potential of an all out war.

Here are some things you migh consider the next time you have to confront a situation or person:

1. Confront in private, not in public – Don’t create a scene, or embarrass someone. Have some wisdom and find a quiet place.

2. Don’t delay – The longer you wait, the harder it becomes and the easier it is to justify why you should leave it alone -

3. Deal only with a single iusse – Don’t bring a laundry list and attempt to address every issue that is on your mind. It may be overwhelming.

4. Don’t repeat yourself – Unless they didn’t hear what was being said, avoid be redundant. Most people comprehend the issues being presented.

5. Be careful of the words you use -  Don’t be condescending and don’t exaggerate of overstate your issues.

6.  Don’t confront issues that a person can’t change – There are some issues beyond a persons ability to control. Be sensitive to the battles you choose to face.

7.  Avoid demeaning or tearing the person down -  Talk to the person, don’t talk down to the person.

8. Help direct the person to acknowledging their problem by asking open ended questions -  You might consider asking questions that cause them to own the problem.

9. Don’t apologize for being truthful – Being sheepish will only minimize the truth that you are trying to communicate.

10. End on a positive note -  Reaffirm your support, thank them for listening and communicate your commitment to forgive and move forward.