Marc Estes

Life is busy and complex. It seems that you have to do so much more in order to just stay afloat. With the busyness and constant pressure, comes a subtle numbness toward life’s most important things. Most of us would never set out to push precious relationships aside, but the tyranny of urgent can so quickly become our master.  The thought, “there is always tomorrow” soothes the conscience and gives us permission to pursue the menial things that have no lasting fruit. Can you relate at all?

This year has been a season of reflection for me. I am turning fifty (did I just say 50?), a half-cenutry old. I never thought I would be such a reflective thinker in my old age, but I do catch myself evaluating my daily tasks and appointments and asking the question, “Is this really important and worth my time?”  Or, “Is there something I should be doing that is more important than what I am doing now?”  The contemplative thoughts have caused me to make some important changes in my life, thank God!

This year also brings another great trial my way, my father. For the last forty years, my father has been somewhat removed from my life. Early on in my life, my parent divorced which put my relationship with my father into a distant relationship which I didn’t think affected me much through life. Over the years, we have worked hard to reconnect and make our relationship work. I am thankful that over the last fifteen years we have been able to develop a very special relationship and look forward to his Monday 8 a.m. (sharp) phone call to talk about our week.  However, a few months ago, my father informed me that he was diagnosed with Stage 3 lung cancer. This one phone call rocked my world in a way that I never expected.  I found myself thinking through the lost moment and missed memories with my father and the reality that I might not have him in my life much longer.

Life has a way of teaching you the most important lessons. The issue with my dad has caused me to make it my aim to “Cherish precious moments with those I love.”  With that renewed revelation in my life, I got my my Ford Exploder (Explorer) all alone and headed off for a 550 mile trip to Mendocino to see my dad. I met my three sisters and spent three glorious days talking about our childhood, laughing, crying and spending precious moments together.  One of the highlights of the trip was being able to shave my dad’s head and giving him a fresh cool look (like me). We even stopped for a few moments to give him a Mohawk; a moment we will all cherish and remember.

As I drove home alone, I thought about all the things at the office that I wasn’t able to do. The phone calls I didn’t make. The appointments that I missed. The letter that I didn’t read. And it was comforting to know that, at the end of the day, it really didn’t matter. Time with dad mattered. Time with my sisters mattered. The funny thing of it all was, when I got back into the grind, the phone calls were still made, the letters were read and the tasks that were in front of me were ultimately finished.

Who is important to you? Have you spent adequate time with them lately? Have you told them you loved them lately? Have you pushed aside the computer and deadlines to pick up the baseball and throw it with your son that is begging for your attention.  Cherish precious moments with those you love.

give some examples of relationship over task.